Introduction?

To me there are two aspects of this life that all humans share: the external; the internal. This is old news. This is universal. I digress.

Now that my friends are back in college, I (the college dropout) have lost the external. I'm stuck at home, working low wages for the MAN. This is my fault. I admit to it. I just didn't think it would be this hard to bear.

I'm one of those guys who wants to be needed. I LOVE taking care of people; It's my nature. Right now there's not really anyone who needs me to take care of them. I only have myself to take care of right now. All I have is the internal. I'm feeling it right now, the unbearable lightness of being. Too many things are running through me, into me. I can't release them! I'm filling up like an over-inflated bike tube! HA-HA! I work at a bike shop! That's probably a little over dramatic, though. It's just that it's hard to feel like there's someone that cares about you when everyone who DOES care is far away. That's not really explaining it very well. My parents are close by, as are a couple of my good friends. These people are only ones that can help me, there doesn't exist that mutual bond of give-take that makes a relationship truly intimate. I have this bond with a few people, these people are essentially my "best" friends; those who I have grown with; shared humiliating moments, bitter defeats, and glorious triumphs with; individuals who I have been there for at their lowest of lows; and who have been there for me at my lowest of lows.

These are the people I can be completely candid with. I am myself, fully, completely, in their presence. There's no reason to lie to them, because any lie I told them could never be worth it.

I guess that's the reason I'm starting this blog. I need to be candid with someone, even if I have to settle with something abstract and ethereal, like the internet. I need an escape route for everything in my head. I need to deflate a little, even if the extra pressure is only due to an unspoken dick joke or two.